Lombardi Trophy

Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

Five Stupid Reasons The Dallas Cowboys Will Win The Super Bowl This Year

August 09, 2018 - 10:11 am
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By Cole Henson 

Superstitions and sports go hand in hand. It’s the reason we don’t talk about a perfect game, or why you sit in the same spot on the couch every week. Superstitions are also stupid. As rational human beings, we know that our belief in superstitions have absolutely nothing to do with whether our team wins or loses every week, but being a sports fan is anything but rational.

Sports fans live for the stupid. We will look for anything that we think might help our team win the big one. It’s why we believe in curses, momentum, mojo, and rally gear. It’s as much a part of being a sports fan as actually analyzing player statics or watching the latest highlights.

Football is no different. Sure we look at the x’s and the o’s, the players on the field and the coaching staff, but we also worry about hand size, number of tattoos, how players wear their hats, etc. We grasp at any reason as to why our team will win or lose.

So to celebrate the Cowboys preseason opener tonight, we went back to all the Cowboys Super Bowl victories in ’71, ’77, ’92, ’93, and ’95 to see if we could find any similarities to the 2018 team. We found five.

And here are five stupid reasons the Dallas Cowboys will win a Super Bowl this year:

Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott
Erich Schlegel-USA TODAY Sport

The Quarterback’s Number Is Divisible By 4:

There have only been two quarterbacks in the history of the Dallas Cowboys to win a Super Bowl, Roger Staubach and Troy Aikman, who wore 12 and 8 respectively. Both numbers can easily be divided by the number four. Don Meredith wore 17, Craig Morton 14, Danny White 11, Quincy Carter 17 and Tony Romo 9. None of those are divisible by four. If you want to win a Super Bowl as a Cowboys quarterback, you better be wearing a number you can divide by 4. It just so happens, Dak Prescott wears the number 4.

12 divided by 4 is 3, which won the Cowboys two Super Bowls. 8 divided by 4 is 2, which won the Cowboys three Super Bowls. 4 divided by 4 is 1…does that mean Dak wins four Super Bowls as the Cowboys quarterback?

Signs point to yes, and we have four more stupid reasons why the first will be this year.

Leighton Vander Esch
Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

The Middle Linebacker Wears 55:

In four out of the five Super Bowl victories for the Cowboys, their Middle Linebacker wore the number 55. For most of the 70’s the Cowboys starting middle linebacker was Ring of Honor member Lee Roy Jordan. Jordan was 5-time pro-bowler, who also won Defensive Player of the Year in 1973. More importantly, he sported the number 55 for his entire NFL career, including the team’s victory in Super Bowl VI.

In 1992, the Cowboys selected linebacker Robert Jones with the 24th pick in the first round. Jones’ career was a little less distinguished than Jordan’s, only playing in one pro bowl. However, the linebackers did have one thing in common, the number 55. Jones wore 55 for all three Cowboys 90’s Super Bowl victories.

The Cowboys drafted Leighton Vander Esch with the 19th pick in the 2019 NFL draft. In camp, the Cowboys have rotated Vander Esch between outside and middle linebacker. So it’s fair to say the Boise State product will spend some time in 2018 at middle linebacker. Vander Esch will wear 55 this year with the Cowboys.

Super Bowl confirmed.

Ezekiel Elliott
© Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

Ezekiel Elliott Is 23 Years-Old:

Tony Dorsett was 23-years-old when the Cowboys selected him with the second pick in the 1977 NFL Draft. He would go on to rush for 1007 yards and 12 touchdowns in a season that would bring the Lombardi Trophy to Dallas.

Emmitt Smith, like Elliott, was entering his third year at the age of 23 in 1992. Smith went on to rush for 1713 yards and 19 touchdowns on his way to winning his first Super Bowl ring.

Ezekiel Elliott, who turned 23 on July 22, is expected to be the centerpiece of a Cowboys offense that just saw the departures of Dez Bryant and Jason Witten. Cowboys’ fans are hopeful that Elliott carries their team to their first Super Bowl victory in 22 years.

And considering Elliott is 23-years-old, it’s pretty much a lock.

Charles Tapper
Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

The University Of Oklahoma:

In his two years in Dallas, defensive end Charles Tapper has only played two games recording just two tackles and one sack. However, he might just be the most important player on the Dallas Cowboys roster if they hope to make a Super Bowl run in 2018.

EVERY Dallas Cowboys Super Bowl squad has featured at least one player who played his college ball at the University of Oklahoma. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

In 1971, the Cowboys had tackle Ralph Neely. In ’77, Neely was still on the team and was joined on the roster by OU alumni Randy Hughes. The ’92 and ’93 teams both featured Tony Casillas at the defensive tackle position. Tight end Joey Mickey was also on the ’93 roster. Finally, former OU linebacker Reggie Barnes was on the Dallas Cowboys ’95 Super Bowl team.

Tapper is currently the ONLY Cowboys player to have played at the University of Oklahoma. Unfortunately, the Cowboys have some depth at the defensive end position and Tapper’s spot on the roster is not a guarantee.

If the Cowboys keep Tapper on the roster in 2018 they are a shoe-in to hoist the Lombardi trophy this February.

Travis Frederick
Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

Six Foot Two Inches Tall:

In 1971 the average height of the Dallas Cowboys was 6 foot 2 inches tall. In ’77, 6 foot 2 inches tall. In’92, 6 foot 2 inches tall. In ’93, 6 foot 2 inches tall.  In ’95, 6 foot 2 inches tall.

But what is the average height of the 2018 Dallas Cowboys you ask? Currently, it’s 6 feet 2 inches tall. The NFL might as well just hand the Cowboys the Super Bowl trophy right now.

There you have conclusive evidence the Dallas Cowboys will win the Super Bowl this upcoming season…You know, as long as you don’t wash that game day jersey.